I’m sad that no one will refer to me as “Anderson’s mom” or “Ander’s mom,” you know, like in a school conference context. I’ll always BE his mom, I know that, but his name is so awesome – I wanted to hear it said, over and over again, for a lifetime. It was our favorite name, and we knew it was “risky” to give it to him, but we didn’t want to feel like we gave him a second-place name. It would be like saying we didn’t believe he’d make it, even though we knew his chances were only 50/50. We had to give him the best name to show him we believed in him and that he could do it. I think I’d feel regret if I hadn’t. But it still really bums me out.
I’m comforted that “Ander” means “brave and strong.” Because he was, and that’s how I’ll always remember him. It was really the only, perfect name for him, in the end. My brave, strong boy.