Hiatus

Hey all,

I’ve been mired in some blues lately. Right after being told we could TTC again, I started having problems. Severe pelvic pain, heavy bleeding between periods, bloating, low-grade fever, headaches. I’ve seen the doctor, had an ultrasound, and a lot has been ruled out, but nothing has gotten better. I see a specialist on Thursday.

Before my pregnancy, I had never been sick. Never been to the hospital, never taken prescription meds, only saw the doctor every few years or so. Now, I’ve been at least once a month since I conceived. Last month, I went six times.

What this means: apparently, I can still TTC if I want. And God, do I want. But with the expense of IUI, and the pain I’m still in, is it wise? This is our last chance before we miss two months for the holidays. So I’m really, really down. And have been for the past few weeks, which is why I’ve been a bit silent. I was really hoping I’d be pregnant again when Ander’s birthday rolled around; a little light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel, you know? With all that’s going on in my pelvic region right now, it’s hard not to catastrophize.

I’ll be back soon, I think. But for now, I need to wallow a bit, and for some reason, this time writing is not cathartic :(.