Last year, at 3:53 p.m. on January 5th, was the last time I carried Anderson inside me. At 3:54 p.m., he was born, suddenly and too soon, into this world. His birthday was supposed to be April 24th. Instead, it is today. We are supposed to be feeding him his first cake. Instead, we keep gazing up at the sky, towards heaven. Hoping to see a sign of him today.
At home in Chicago, it snowed and is snowing, which is perfect. It should always snow on our polar vortex baby’s birthday. We were so glad to be able to build him a snowman. We had hoped to also fly kites (K and I surprised each other with bird kites for Christmas, for Anderson), but the weather wouldn’t cooperate. Next time.
Ander’s birthday snowman
K had to be in DC today for a training, so we decided that I would come with her as we didn’t want to be alone on Ander’s birthday. Yet in some ways, we are – both at our separate workplaces, remembering him with quick tears and a FB post in the morning, but then trudging off to Starbucks and the Metro. We will think of him all day, though.
Happy birthday, my baby boy. I miss you so much. I wish, wish, wish that you were here with us.
Finally, in the words of my mother-in-law:
“Today, like all the days since January 5, 2014, we remember that scary incredible miraculous day: our brave daughters, our valiant beautiful grandson, the amazing Rush staff, and the bitter cold that helped numb our fears, as we struggled to be hopeful and thankful, and to find joy in each moment with Ander that we were given. Our love to all our family.”