Birth and death

Today, I got an invitation to a baby’s first birthday party.

The party is on the first anniversary of my son’s death.

I can’t bring myself to go, and I plan to tell the mother why. The mother who sent a group text announcing this baby’s birth on the night of January 30th, and all through the day on the 31st the group sent her congratulations messages, which tore up my phone in mass numbers.

I got these texts as I was saying goodbye to my son. I know she had no way of knowing that, but I will forever hate group texts for this. I will forever silently resent that she caused me this pain, though she does not know it and never will.

Happy first birthday, baby girl. I’m sorry to miss your special day, but it’s a special day for my son as well, and I need to be there to remember him.

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6 Responses to Birth and death

  1. kaitlynva says:

    I would do the same thing – skip the party, and tell the mom why. Ander deserves your full attention on that day, and you deserve to be able to give it to him. How difficult it must have been to to cope with those phone messages right as you were saying goodbye to Ander. I ended up on a group text like that, and even though it was six months after Sacha died, I’m still angry with the parents over it.

  2. I’d do the same, too. You need to be at one with your memories of Ander, and do whatever you and your partner need to do. Love and hugs xxx

  3. Emily says:

    I would definitely be doing the same. January 30th is my boys first anniversary too.

  4. meghanoc says:

    oh gosh. my chest tightens just thinking about this coincidence (? right word). oh, that hurts.

  5. Jennifer says:

    Oh goodness. I know that visceral response that you probably get just thinking about it. You are doing the right thing. You are strong!

  6. Oh gosh no. Definitely don’t go.

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