Different anchors, different oceans

Mary Tyler Mom, one of my favorite Chicago local bloggers, has needed anchors a lot in her life – during her daughter Donna’s cancer and after Donna died, and now, helping her elderly father as he suffers declining physical and mental health. One phrase in particular stuck with me. “You might have different anchors for different oceans of your life,” Mary Tyler Mom says.

For me, this rings quite true. My anchors during Anderson’s life and after his death were not the people I suspected. They were not those whom I would have reached out to, before, if I were going through a rough time or having a bad day. But boy, have they become those people now.

Who are your anchors? Know them, as MTM suggests. And ask yourself if you are being a good anchor in return.

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3 Responses to Different anchors, different oceans

  1. Kerri says:

    This is so true! For me it has been others who have suffered loss as they understand what we are going through.

    I have enjoyed your comments on my blog as well and found some peace. I’d love to reach out to you directly. My email is kerripoteet@yahoo.com please send me an email if you would like.

  2. Absolutely correct. I love how you write 🙂

    My anchors at first were two people who had been through an infant loss. One was a very good friend from college, so not much has changed there, except for that I didn’t really know they’d had that experience until after mine. One of whom I didn’t knowl at all, but who took the time and initiative to reach out, and she had been (and still is) invaluable in getting to that space when we need to just live in missing our children for a bit, and enjoy when life is good outside of that.

    In turn, I’ve taken that to heart and made it my focus to do that for as many grieving parents as I can because I know what a mess I was when I needed them most and WHY it was so important to hear it from people who’ve been through it, and now its my turn to return the favor.
    Now my anchors are the people who encourage me with TOP, the people who I’ve met through it in various capacities, and of course a few of my close family members & friends, but all for different reasons.

    • babylossmama says:

      I couldn’t agree more, Stacey – when it comes to infant loss, the best anchors for me were the people who had been through it before, even if our first time connecting was via blog / email following our losses. Now, I’m trying to pay that forward, too. Some people are lucky to have non babyloss anchors (I have a few), but it’s very important to connect with those who have been there.

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