Yesterday, on FB, a friend posted a picture from her son’s first birthday.
I had forgotten that A and I were initially pregnant at the same time. She was due on May 1. I was due on April 24. She gave birth naturally, happily on April 23rd. Ander had been dead for nearly three months.
He should be one. It blows my mind. Had things gone to plan, I would have a one year old. K and I would be talking about starting to try for our second.
What the hell is this alternate reality I’m living in?
baby boy blue 
How painful. Thinking of you guys today on the anniversary of Ander’s due-date… A very important date, marking what should have been and making his absence all the more obvious.
I am so sorry. It is mind blowing to stop and think of what should be… of the one-year old and the 16-month old that should be but aren’t.
Thinking of you and Ander…
Sorry for your loss. Like you, my baby would have been almost 2 years old. It is the reality I will have to live forever.