Tag Archives: #babyloss

The church and trauma

God and the church are touchy subjects in the babyloss community (really, in every community, amirite?). I bristle whenever I hear someone trying to make themselves feel better by telling a babyloss mom that “It was God’s will” or “God … Continue reading

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Different anchors, different oceans

Mary Tyler Mom, one of my favorite Chicago local bloggers, has needed anchors a lot in her life – during her daughter Donna’s cancer and after Donna died, and now, helping her elderly father as he suffers declining physical and mental … Continue reading

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Hope is brave

For those of you babyloss mamas who are pregnant after loss or contemplating becoming pregnant after loss, take a minute to read this post over at Still Standing. You are so brave. You have so much love. You deserve the … Continue reading

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To do and not to do

In light of yesterday’s post, I was pleased to see Still Standing Magazine’s article for today: “The Complete List of Do’s and Don’ts When Supporting the Bereaved.” I agree with pretty much everything, except that “encourage and give them hope” … Continue reading

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Something that still rankles

Most days now, I have my anger under control. Anger, as babyloss moms know, is probably the last grief manifestation to leave: anger at the helplessness, the unfairness, at others who seem to get and stay pregnant so easily. Some … Continue reading

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Ander day… and the day after

Ander day, as we ultimately decided to refer to Saturday (aka the one year anniversary of his last day, or the day we got to cuddle him for 36 hours straight), turned out to be rather perfect. We went for … Continue reading

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The last first

This is the last week. The last week of firsts, culminating in the very last first: the first anniversary of Ander’s death. Anderson died on Saturday, January 31st at approximately 10:30 p.m. We celebrated his birthday, but I’m not sure … Continue reading

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On prayer and the “randomness of the world”

After yesterday’s post, I saw several others that led to a related tangent. Clearly, others saw it too, as Gretchen so astutely commented, noting: “Recently, there was an airplane that nearly crashed into a couple’s suburban bedroom. The owners were … Continue reading

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Dying is not losing, it’s just unlucky

“When you die, it does not mean that you lose to cancer.” These powerful words by ESPN anchor Stuart Scott, who recently died of cancer, resonated with me. Just take out “to cancer” and replace (or not) with what your … Continue reading

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Friends who understand

A glorious post by Robyna May about the difference between two types of friends after loss: those who don’t understand, and those who do. An excerpt is below. A friend says, “he was beautiful”.  A friend who understands says “he … Continue reading

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