Making others uncomfortable

This article was making the rounds on the babyloss sites yesterday, and it certainly resonated with me as well. It’s on what you do when someone asks you how many children you have, or if it’s your first, or your oldest, etc. It’s about how we loss moms know we’re making others uncomfortable, but it’s the price we pay for breaking the silence about infant loss and for honoring our child’s life.

“To the Mom I Didn’t Mind Making Uncomfortable at the Playground”

I say “I had a son, but he died last year.” What do you say?

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3 Responses to Making others uncomfortable

  1. I really appreciated reading this and sharing a common bond with this writer.
    But, when I read the note at the end, added by the author after the initial post, I was really rather sad. I made the assumption that she received a lot of hurtful feedback for this post and I am so hurt for her. As someone who has lost multiple pregnancies, I absolutely understood what she meant in her post. I guess that’s what binds us loss mothers together?

    • babylossmama says:

      I also understood her completely and was hurt by the comments she received! Anyone who criticizes someone for making someone uncomfortable simply by mentioning their truth, honestly, is being beyond judgmental. It’s just cruel! I mean, what is another’s momentary discomfort compared to our lifetime of grief (I say this as someone who doesn’t like to make others uncomfortable, but also as someone who refused to lie about my own story)? But as you said, I guess loss moms are the ones who truly understand.

  2. Pingback: How would you answer? | My story, my life, and living through a stillbirth

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