Monthly Archives: June 2014

The joy in the suffering and dying

I’m drawn to photos of infants on ventilators. For me, it’s because Anderson was on a vent for all 26 days of his life, except for one day in the first week when they gave him a shot on the … Continue reading

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One of those weeks

This has been one of those weeks. On Sunday, I held two babies who were born in January, the same month Ander was born. One, a friend’s full term baby – she had her the day before Ander died. I … Continue reading

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Invisible Mothers

The lovely and intrepid Emily Long is writing a book! (I wish I were Emily. I’m not.) She is a North Carolina-based babyloss mom, counselor, and author of two books on talking about and living through grief. Her current project, … Continue reading

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“Not my Burden”

I few days ago I talked about how “Let it Go” has become my mantra the past few months. It has a twin sister: “Not my burden.” “Let it go” is my response to the ever-present worry and anticipatory anxiety … Continue reading

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Things I was concerned about before Ander was born, part three

Third: Muscle tone (originally written sometime between 1/4/14 and 1/5/14). “I’ve been on modified bed rest for several weeks, but it was only today that I really noticed how much muscle tone I’ve lost in my calves. Yikes! My doctor … Continue reading

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“Let it Go”

I am a box checker. In fact, completing items is something about which I am rather obsessive. In my entire life, for example, there has only been one book that I didn’t finish (“Catch 22,” if you must know). Several … Continue reading

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Grief bully

Yesterday, I was having a bad day. I came home from work in a rotten mood for no good or apparent reason, and even exercising and watching “Game of Thrones” didn’t perk me up. “What’s wrong?” K asked. “I don’t … Continue reading

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