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Monthly Archives: June 2014
The joy in the suffering and dying
I’m drawn to photos of infants on ventilators. For me, it’s because Anderson was on a vent for all 26 days of his life, except for one day in the first week when they gave him a shot on the … Continue reading
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One of those weeks
This has been one of those weeks. On Sunday, I held two babies who were born in January, the same month Ander was born. One, a friend’s full term baby – she had her the day before Ander died. I … Continue reading
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Invisible Mothers
The lovely and intrepid Emily Long is writing a book! (I wish I were Emily. I’m not.) She is a North Carolina-based babyloss mom, counselor, and author of two books on talking about and living through grief. Her current project, … Continue reading
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Tagged #author, #babyloss, #book, #child, #children, #counselor, #emily long, #grief, #heaven, #invisible mothers, #loss, #mothers, #stillbirth, #stillborn
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“Not my Burden”
I few days ago I talked about how “Let it Go” has become my mantra the past few months. It has a twin sister: “Not my burden.” “Let it go” is my response to the ever-present worry and anticipatory anxiety … Continue reading
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Things I was concerned about before Ander was born, part three
Third: Muscle tone (originally written sometime between 1/4/14 and 1/5/14). “I’ve been on modified bed rest for several weeks, but it was only today that I really noticed how much muscle tone I’ve lost in my calves. Yikes! My doctor … Continue reading
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“Let it Go”
I am a box checker. In fact, completing items is something about which I am rather obsessive. In my entire life, for example, there has only been one book that I didn’t finish (“Catch 22,” if you must know). Several … Continue reading
Grief bully
Yesterday, I was having a bad day. I came home from work in a rotten mood for no good or apparent reason, and even exercising and watching “Game of Thrones” didn’t perk me up. “What’s wrong?” K asked. “I don’t … Continue reading
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Tagged #babyloss, #bully, #coping, #grief, #grief bully, #loss, #miscarriage, #mom, #NICU, #preemie, #premature
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“I had a preemie too!”
Today’s medical advances mean that babies born prematurely are much more likely to survive. Time magazine’s recent cover story, “Saving Preemies,” which I’m not linking to because the first thing you’ll see is a very triggery picture of a small … Continue reading
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Tagged #albany, #ander, #anderson, #angel, #babyloss, #denver, #march of dimes, #memory, #mom, #new haven, #NICU, #preemie, #pregnancy, #prematurity, #time
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Things I was concerned about before Ander was born, part two
Preface: I did not know, when I wrote this on my “friends and family hospital bed rest update blog,” that it was the day Ander would be born. Just a few hours later, K would get my panicked text to “come … Continue reading
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A letter to a nurse
During our 26-day stay in the NICU, we received the very best care from our team of NICU doctors and nurses. I wrote the following when I nominated one of our nurses for an award, but I’m posting it here … Continue reading
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Tagged #ander, #anderson, #babyloss, #neonatal, #neonatologist, #newborn, #NICU, #nurse, #nurses, #photograph
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baby boy blue 