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Monthly Archives: September 2014
I sat in the closet…
… and it WORKED! I know, you’re thinking: it was a self-fulfilling prophecy. Okay, so maybe a little? But let me start from the beginning. I was in a Mood. You know what it’s like. A “life is horrible, I … Continue reading
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It would have worked out perfectly…
If Ander had been born at term, this past April, instead of at 24 weeks in the cold of January… … K would be bringing a one-year-old to her 10-year college reunion in May, showing him off. Instead, we’re hoping … Continue reading
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Coke made me cry
I’m a sucker for schmaltzy. I get teary at the start of Broadway musicals when the orchestra swells; I am the person Hallmark commercials are targeted at. My eyes brim at moment of beauty. I simply can’t control it. I’m … Continue reading
Sitting in the closet
“Sitting deep in the heart of Organ Cave, I let this sink in: new life starts in the dark. Whether it is a seed in the ground, a baby in the womb or Jesus in the tomb, it starts in the dark.” – Barbara … Continue reading
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Tagged #baby, #babyloss, #cave, #closet, #dark, #meditation, #seed
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Mothers helping mothers
By the time Ander died, I had been pumping milk for 26 days and nights. The NICU stored it for me in their giant freezers, for my baby, who would never get past cotton swabs and 1 ml drips. Fortunately, … Continue reading
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Tagged #babyloss, #breastfeeding, #donor, #milk, #mother, #NICU, #preemie, #thanks, #twins
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Forget the future
This morning I awoke at 5 a.m. due to a massive rainstorm, and sprang out of bed because I remembered we had left the living room bay windows open. This is only a problem if it’s rainy and windy, but … Continue reading
Cesarean mothers are BRAVE
My wonderful wife, K, sent this to me today. And it made me feel better. As a mom who never wanted a c-section, but now will never give birth vaginally, it was nice to hear this.
Reckless
Over the past month, K and I have been preparing to start trying to conceive again. During that process, we’ve had to balance a lot of “what ifs” and medical advice. The simple fact is, no one knows why I … Continue reading
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Tagged #abruption, #baby, #cmv, #donor, #mfm, #placenta, #pregnancy, #pregnant, #reckless, #responsible, #risk, #sperm, #ttc
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baby boy blue 